So maybe I should write something

I think the world we live in is sad... why.. because there appears to be no imagination, no faith.. everything is so logical..everything is so..in order....

Do you believe that there is some type of destiny for you?  I think there is. But it's also up to you to get to where you want to be..

Do you believe that there's that one special someone for you?  I think most people will tell me no hell no..  yes because everyone's a realist now...  it makes me sad.. because I'd like to think that there's someone special for me.. and if I didn't meet that person at a certain place, at a certain time.... I'd run into that person some time later on in my life..  Maybe that is naive.. maybe that's just a stupid romantic image I'd like to keep in my head.. but I'm someone who's full of imagination, who likes to still hold on to that little bit of faith... or little bit of romance.. because reality... gets kind of tiring sometimes...  Without a little bit of faith.. without a little bit of imagination.. without a little bit of romance.. isn't life just.. a tad boring?

I believe that most things happen for a reason, and especially a relationship.. it's not just "something that happened".. there's gotta be something special there... isn't there?  Otherwise..isn't that just two people getting together "just 'cause"?  Don't you want to believe in more than "just 'cause"?  Again, maybe I'm too much of a romantic at heart... maybe I just believe in a load of crap.. to escape from reality.. just so I can slow down and breathe a little...  I'm just very tired of having to grow up and be an "adult" and to think like an "adult" and believe that there's nothing more to life than just what's presented in front of us...

Ironic... what's ironic?  What do you think of when you think of the word ironic?

When I was at work yesterday afternoon, I received an email sent out by our HR person.. the title was "Congratulations to..."  so I read on.. I just scanned through because I was training my Boss #2 how to release cutgoods orders... so I scanned through the email..and it said "a bit of a background about her, she has done visual merchandising and was a student of bachelor of fashion design and technology"..  I thought to myself...wait. that sounds like me.. so I scrolled to the top of the email..and it said "Congratulations to Sophia Chang who has been promoted to Supervisor, Cutting.. from Assistant Supervisor since April 2006"  right.. I found out at the same time as everyone else.. just like how I found out about my raise.. I was just told.. it wasn't even formally presented to me or ..I wasn't even told how much I was getting a raise of..  anyway..  I got some emails from people asking.. "Aren't you the Supervisor?  Who have you been assisting all this time?"  I got tired of answering those questions.. I just laughed...

..so you're probably wondering why is this ironic.. you're right.. I haven't gotten to the point yet.. I'm just blabbing on... the ironic part is... that the next day I had an interview to attend to (which is Tuesday)..and it's for Assistant Buyer/Designer position..  my dream job..for now really.. hahaha..so I was thinking it would be really funny if I got the job and next week I'll give them my 2 weeks notice.. wouldn't that be funny?  So.. don't you think it's ironic that I finally get the title I deserve and the next day I had an interview to go to..  So when I read that email sent out by HR, at the same time I was laughing, and that song "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette popped up in my head...

... well.. I went to the interview... she liked me.. asked me to go home and think about it b/c she knew she couldn't pay me the same as what I'm getting right now... but.. I so want the job.. I'm supposed to give her an answer tomorrow.... we'll see what happens...

For some strange reason, I've been thinking about the time when I was in junior high..  I remember how Jill and I used to complain about school work and boys.. haha.. we thought oh my goodness life sucks.. everything was a big deal.  Quite funny, now that I think back.. I guess I've grown up?  I feel like in the last six months I've grown up so much.. mainly because my family is separated.. I'm living on my own with my sister as roomate..  I've recently purchased a car..  and work has put a lot of pressure and stress on me.. I've had to grow up in a short period of time.  I feel tired.. I really am.. I feel so drained.. like I don't even have energy to brush my hair..  I hear my alarm go off at 5:30AM and already I'm thinking about when I can get home from work...

I think I used to be proud of who I am.. I used to think that nothing could beat me.. I used to think that anything was possible.. I used to be optimistic..  all of that has disappeared over the past couple years of my life.  I am now pessimistic, have no faith in man-kind, tired of my work and my life...  seems like there's no end of the tunnel..where's that light?  I think mainly it's work that's doing that to me.. and other things..but.. I'm also scared because I think I need to go see the doctor and get myself checked.. 

Anyway.. I suppose it's time for bed..  good night..

If you could go back in time and visit anybody you wanted..who would you like to meet?

For me.. I'd like to meet this person.. whom I only knew for 8 years of my life.. sometimes at night it still gets to me, it makes my heart ache and... yah...I wonder what kind of person she was, what kind of food she liked... what her favorite drink was..or her favorite fruit.. what was her favorite movie?  It scares me that a lot of my memories of her..are slowly fading away.. some remain vivid..because they were significant..  I just hope that she would be proud of me..that's all.. what I've done and what I've become..